SPF Infinity: Look Good by Pointing

The importance of pointing accurately and repeatedly during any expedition cannot be stressed enough. Pointing facilitates extremely vital functions including identification, navigation, investigation, education, revelation, recommendation, and nasal cavity clearance. As indispensible as hese functions may be, we should also keep in mind that for as long as man has been in the business of exploration, pointing has made him look super cool. Take, for instance, the iconic figures of Meriweater Lewis and William Clark as they blaze a trail to the interior of North America. If they had not pointed with nearly perpetual regularity, we would probably not know their names today.

Clark: You see that? Ten bucks says it's edible.

Lewis and Clark are the Ameican masters of pointing, but what good is their mastery if it dies with them. Good pointers are good teachers, and you will seldom find a good teacher that is not a good pointer. We have reason to believe this is the case since Lewis and Clark taught other members of their expedition to point. They even let the occassional Squaw point out a few things...though they generally disregarded the input because of her non-sensical commentary. A picture may be worth a thousand words, but if the words aren't worth the air required to produce them, you can bet the picture will not be too valuable either.

Sacajawea: If I dropped my papoose, I would check the lost and found over there.

Sacajawea: Is that a man or a woman? I can't tell.

Do you think that Bed, Bath and Beyond is open?

There are individuals in contemporary society that have developed an expertise in the art of pointing, Brendan being the subject with whom I am most familiar. This proficiency was no-doubt acquired over the course of a miliary education, but the same principles translate into civilian purposes.

Military: Fire a sabot round through that tank.
Civilian: We need to run like hell from that tank.

Military: Let's storm this hill.
Civilian: I'm too tired to walk up this hill.

Military: I can't believe they let that guy in the military.
Civilian: I can't believe they let that guy in the military.

Some translations are perfect 1 for 1 translations.

Brendan: I can see my house from here.

Brendan: That is where babies come from.

Amy: I don't want to be right there.

HOW NOT TO POINT

I hate to pick on people (lie), but there is a wrong way to point.

1) The No-Look Point - It lacks any information conveying property of the point.

Kyle: Look at that...whatever it is...I don't know because I'm not looking at it.

Kyle: Look at it! I don't know what the pronoun it refers to in this sentence, but do it anyways!

2) The Cocky Point - Pointing at the camera isn't fun. It is rude.

Mothers always say, "it's rude to point."

Kyle pointing at a perfect stranger who kindly agreed to photograph us.

Kyle pointing at a guy in a wheelchair on top of Rainier. Shame on you Kyle.

Eventually the ecstacy of Kyle's achievement wears off and he returns to the no-look point.

Kyle: I think that's the way down, but I'm not going to look and make sure.

I don't want to pick on Kyle. After all, I'm as guilty as the next man of the no-look point. In fact, I would say the image below is more condemning because I was blatantly performing the no-look point on purpose. It is own thing to ignorantly perform the no-look point, but I was doing so simply out of rebellion. It's called sin.

Evan is wrist deep in hesitation. Riding the fence. Non-commital.